Stream of Consciousness Inspired by Ahi Tuna

Ahi tuna isn’t good for you? I kinda assumed it was. Because it is just tuna. And tuna is fish. And fish is good for you, right? Aren’t we always encouraged to eat more fish except for that time where we weren’t because people were afraid of mercury poisoning… which I think is a fear that has gone away? I dunno. I just know I eat a loooooot of fish while I am travelling. Mostly cuz I’m probably going to be tempted to have a burger or something equally insane at the restaurants if I don’t get fish and I always assume the fish is better for me.

I miss the enforced walking all day that came with working at Earls. And also the never starting work until 10:45 at the earliest. However, I probably don’t miss the actual serving or the relying on tips.

I am tired. Very tired. Ergo I am insane. I suspect I slept all of two hours last night. I almost fell over when I got out of bed this morning. Stupid brain would not turn off in order to allow me to fall into sleep mode – it was almost like when I was going to Queen’s again! Ridiculous! And I kept hoping it would kick in, so I didn’t even try my usual sleepytime tea remedy…. Well, also because I have a fear of hot beverages so I would have to make the tea and then allow it to cool enough to drink it and then drink it and that would result in me being OUT of bed for, like, an hour and, really, nobody wants that at 2 am.

Mmmmm, stream of consciousness!!

Last night while I was trying to sleep and failing, I wondered if I stopped contacting people (other than my family because they are hard to avoid), how long it would be before anyone noticed. You know when you go through phases where you feel like you are constantly the one who is reaching out and suggesting and initiating and if you didn’t do that, there would be nothing there?

I think a lot about that episode of Glee where Rachel is talking to Puck on the bleachers and she says “I want everything too much”.

And then you realize that you want everything too much and you become very very conscious of trying to dial it back. And it’s everything or nothing. And it’s too much either way. And you are insane.

I spent a lot of time trying very very hard not to be the crazy girl. SPEND?? But maybe I am. And maybe if I embrace that, the crazy becomes endearing?
Or MAYBE I should just sleep at night like a normal person. Hurrah!

But probably? I will take a nap after work and then stay up until stupid-o-clock watching the first season of Ugly Betty on DVD.